Since I started blogging I have found that people often ask my thoughts and opinions on various topics. And though I generally write about my own personal journey and experiences, these questions give me a chance to reflect on topics I haven’t given much thought before. One of the questions asked was about my thoughts on friendship.
From our very early years we encounter people that shape our lives and through their presence, moulds our identity. In my life, I have encountered many, many people. Within each individual I have learnt something valuable…but not all of them would I call my friend.
When I was young, making friends was easy, it was simple and it was built on mutual interests and experiences. It was uncomplicated…all we had to offer was ourselves and that was enough! Bonds built on the simplest foundations; untarnished by superficiality and personal gain; in my personal experience, has survived the longest! Many of the friendships I forged in my youth have survived; perhaps because we see ourselves as no different to those goofy teens we were back then.
Fast forward a couple of years…add money, career and status…and your simple self becomes “not good enough”. The relationships in this era proved most problematic! Facing the world with good intentions and my heart on my sleeve…searching for acceptance…searching in all the wrong places….all the wrong people!
Sometimes in life, there is a void that needs to be filled…that we think can be filled by the presence of others. We go searching for these people we think can fill this gaping hole, failing to realise that we do not need anyone to make us feel validated!!! We offer our hearts and souls in exchange for acceptance and often get left feeling hurt…
But no experience in life is ever in vain. Even hurt…I have learnt and realised that the only person you can count on is yourself. I have learnt to guard my privacy and my thoughts…to allow only a privelaged few access to them. The less people that know the details to your life; the less chance of getting hurt. I have learnt that I have nothing to prove…that I have to accept myself and not seek acceptance in the eyes of others!
The purest friendships are never based on personal gain. They are forged through similar mutual experiences, provide us with comfort and security, and are the safety nets to life’s falls. Those are the friendships that survive…the next best thing to family. We see in the next person a likeness to ourselves and that is what we are drawn to…A common moment…a similar strife. Some friendships will last a long, long time…and some won’t last long at all…and that’s okay too! The most important thing is that you are okay with YOU!
People cross our paths for a reason…and sometimes they leave for a reason. The many friendships forged and lost has taught me something I needed to learn about myself and grow from as an individual. At the end of it all, we are all on a journey and everyone has something to learn. Sometimes that lesson is learnt from someone that is not good for us at all!
*If you have any suggestions for topics you would like me to write about, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a message via my Facebook page.