A Letter To My Younger Self

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If life unveiled itself in seasons…then I would have just emerged from a Winter and be basking in the middle of a Spring. But even the glory of Spring would not be fully appreciated without having weathered the bitterness of a storm. I guess that is why I have chosen to write this letter to you…to me… young and budding and in the midst of your second Spring… and guide you full circle to the hill upon which I sit now.

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I’m hoping this letter reaches you in full bloom! Where the field lay wide and open ahead of you. Where your searching eyes are oblivious to the mountain of choices and opportunity; and seem to be looking for only one thing and that is for someone to sweep you off your feet. Your proverbial Prince Charming. I’m afraid your current perceptions of Love & Life is clouded by an innocence and naivety that is a consequence of being sheltered from the cruelties of the world. A reality you are unprepared for it seems.
Sure enough, you find your Prince Charming…and Love catches you by surprise. He is not any of the Fairy tale persona’s you imagined would come. In fact, he is the opposite. But his bold gestures and alluring charm captivates you and catches you off guard… and before you know it your future is altered to spend  forever with him. He has a good, kind heart and a beautiful soul. And you work together towards a beautiful forever…Keep him.
 It is easy to lose yourself in Love…and you fall easily and deeply. And for a while lose yourself fulfilling someone else’s dreams and not your own. But, do not despair. Following your heart inevitably leads you towards the destiny you envisioned…. Your happily ever after just takes a little more work. My only wish is that you have a little more faith in yourself.
Love. Romance. Summer…
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And then begins your Autumn. Where your body is heavy with the fruits of your Summer. Where the veil covering your eyes, your innocence, your make believe reality, falls to the ground like the amber Autumn leaves. And everything you ever believed in, gets turned on it’s head! With each fallen truth, you start to discover the reality that is Life. Love. Trust. Friendship. Betrayal…You give all of yourself to whoever needs you, but your good intentions lie shattered in pieces around you and you are left bewildered. Wounded…until all that is left is a raw and naked soul. Exposed to the elements.
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Which leads you to a cold and bitter Winter…Where you have to face the raging storm inside of you and steer yourself to calmer shores. Nobody can help you out of this but YOU. But even in hardship there is learning. And learning leads to growing…And growing helps us to heal and renew. Sometimes being plunged in the darkest hole forces us to dig deep in order to propel ourselves forward. This misery becomes your greatest gift, for in these moments of turmoil and confusion you turn towards one of your forsaken gifts to help you through it. You pick up a pen and write…and with that you start to peel away the layers of hurt and rediscover You.
Everything has a beginning and an end. I won’t ask you to change any of your impending footsteps for it leads to an eventual great place! You need to experience the darkness in order to appreciate the light. I’m just here to tell you that the light does come. I am sitting in the midst of it and it is fantastic…
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Who knows where this journey still leads. There is a Summer ahead… and then another Autumn and Winter. But I will welcome it all just to discover what beauty lies on the other side of it…
 
Peace,
 
NAMU 🙂



 P.S…I was tagged to do this post by Leana Henke
 
Younger me…

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