Dear Diary

Time flies when you’re having fun…but it sure drags when you miss the people you love!
 
 It’s been nearly a week now since they left…since I last saw their faces…heard their voices…since they left me behind…Nearly a week since I waved them goodbye, said our farewells, gave them one last embrace…
 
 Those of you who know me, know that my family is everything to me! It’s been almost a week since 6 members of my family departed on a journey to the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah. My parents, 3 sisters and my nephew; who is like a son to me and big brother to my children. Unable to join them, I stayed behind…with my nuclear family…not quite alone; but yet still feeling slightly lonely.
 
There have been many times that I have been away on holiday; that they have gone on holiday…but I have never been left behind alone. I have never before felt the emptiness of having no one here…no one near. No one to call. Nothing but an empty home to visit.
 
I know many families live in the same country without speaking or seeing each other on a regular basis, but we are not like that. I speak to my mom and sisters several times a day…my nephew is permanently in my home…my Dad a constant cheerful fixture. It is one thing being in a different country without all things familiar…it is quite different being home without the familiar voices and presence of all those that you love and hold dear. This separation…is a little bit hard.
 
In the meantime I am filling my day with pleasantries with the kids in the hopes that it will dull out the little hollow in my heart…that it will help make the time move a little faster…that it will occupy my mind with thoughts other than the incessant wondering of what they are up to without me. I am trying, but the truth is that we are all watching our phones, waiting for a little message, a flashing light…a little voice from ‘home’. Even the kids… and little Zaydaan that came to my bed early this morning to ask when Agu is coming home!

I wonder if they wonder about me too…the six of them all together…me home alone. Writing this I hardly sound like a mature adult, mother of three. I suppose I am writing as a daughter and sister then. As a woman whose best friends are all in one place…a place that is a little bit further than she likes.

I miss my daily chats, constant messaging, random visits, spontaneous outings, jokes and laughter…even mom’s scolding!!! I miss you all so very much and like a big, grown kid, I am counting down the days till you return!

Love,
 
NAMU :)

 



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