Surviving 2020

What is a year if not just a series of days strung together. A folder in our life’s journey. A collection of memories – our highlights, accomplishments, trials and life lessons as we journey this earth and Love, grow and evolve – that when we look back at it one day, we associate the years with specific memories. The year we got married, had a child, went on a holiday, started school, matriculated, graduated, bought a house and moved.  What is a year if not a series of days woven together, that over time forms the backdrop of our life’s journey; and what is this blog if I don’t document it all over here.

2020 started off being dubbed as “20 plenty”.  A true testament to the humans ability to rise above bad experiences and challenges and look for the light and silver linings. We started the year, full of hope. Ready to rise to life’s challenges…Do better. Be better…but life ultimately had other plans and “20 plenty” sure threw us plenty of curve balls and unprecedented moments that still has us reeling. Corona, lockdown, earthquakes, immeasurable suffering and loss. This year really feels like it robbed us from a lot, and we are not even out of the woods yet. We are still in the eye of the storm.

I know everyone is going to emerge from this with a different story to tell, but 2020 for me was the epitome of a juxtaposition – of the light and shadows holding hands…the good and bad walking side by side. There are so very many things I have missed dearly this year. On the most part, the slower pace gave me much needed time with my own family, but the constantly altering lockdown restrictions made me feel like I’ve lost out in equal measure.  I have missed all the big days, all the important milestones, all the laughs, the casual meet ups and coffee dates, regular interactions with family. Eid days and Birthdays, and the literal birth of my niece. I have missed the power of human interactions and the comforts of a warm embrace and the healing that can be found in laughter with loved ones. I have missed all the familiarities of all the previous years before we were forced to change.

In the blink of an eye, the world stood still. The hamster wheel stopped. Life as we knew it, ceased to exist. But while the world stood still; Time didn’t and Life still needed to be lived. And in the end, when I look back; though this year was made up of a bag of mixed emotions and uncertainty; I want to hang on to the moments that made it a year worth living.

The most significant moment for me was moving into our own home and then having time slow down enough for me to truly revel in joyful and meaningful connections with my children. My nephew graduated and got his degree. My youngest sister got her PhD. The kids got through their respective academic year and my daughter wrote her matric exams despite the many challenges. We celebrated my mom turning 70. My son made the WP MMA team. We baked, we cooked, we organised that pantry! And in a year that was so full of grief and loss for many; our family expanded as we welcomed my little niece into the fold. In the end, we not only lived, but we survived one heck of a year… and all the while it gave me the time I needed to gain better perspective of where I am and where I’m headed to.

Another year has dwindled by. Only, this year there is no clear ending and beginning. Only a blurred line…a knot at the back of a tapestry that binds the picture together. There is no full stop for today and a capital letter starting tomorrow. Only a comma – or perhaps, more aptly, a semicolon – a brief pause to soak in the days that have passed before we continue into the unknown of tomorrow and the new year. If there is one take back from 2020, it is that we only truly have the moment we are in, so we need to start living our truth unapologetically, and live each and every moment to the fullest.

And now we’re entering a New year. There’s no “happy” preceding it. Nothing festive to celebrate it. No goals to help me get through it. There’s just me hanging onto the threads from last year…hoping to be fully present through all that lays before me, and pray that I make it to the other side of the next 365.

 

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Peace,

 

NAMU 🙂

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